20/20 Beotch!

On Friday I had an appointment with an eye Dr. A few weeks ago I was trying to read a piece of paper someone handed me. It was all in small print. As I was holding it trying to read what that someone wanted me to read, I found my eyes were having a hard time focusing. I then caught myself holding the piece of paper farther and farther away so I could read the damn thing. First thing that went through my head was "Did I just fucking do that?!" It was late at night, I was tired. I had worked 8 hours then went straight to the photo lab to put in about 3 hours there. I was tired, my eyes were tired! That was my story and I was sticking to it. The person I as with was making fun. You wanna know what's even more sad? I can't even remember WHO the who was, or where I WAS at the time. Now that I bad! First I'm losing my sight and now I'm losing my memory. Well isn't that just the fucking bee's knee's?! WTF does bee's knee's even mean anyway?!

That may have been my story, but the truth was I couldn't forget about it. It was fucking with my head. Specially since I had given Wenchy a hard time cause she has to wear reading glasses now. I was thinking this was my Karma coming back at me for making fun of Wenchy. Yeah, I know...I'm fucking 38 years old and it's bound to be time that my eyes finally started to go. But that would mean that I'd have to admit to myself that I'm getting old. And I'll be damned if I'll admit that! Regardless, I caved in. I called the eye doctor and made an appointment to get my eyes checked. My appointed time? 4:20. How crazy is that?

So I go and get my eyes checked. I run down all the things I do to the Doc. How I caught myself having to hold something farther away to read it, how my job consists of my face glued to a computer screen all day, then school at night, and how I think it's because I've just been plain fucking tired. Okay, so not in those words exactly, but he got the point. The Doc tells me that I might be right, I've just been too tired and straining my eyes, but we'll soon find out after the examination. Then he runs down the list of family medical history questions of diabetes, high blood pressure, eye problems, etc....along with the personal medical questions of allergies, taking any medications, and what-nots. Now were ready to start the examination.

We go through all of the "Which line can you read going down to the smallest" bit. I was able to read the very last line on all the tests. Looked through a Phoroptor, a mask-like device that contains wheels of different lenses, flipping through all the lenses asking me which one I could see better out of. Then he put some eye drops in my eyes and did all these other tests. So far so good. Now come the part where he is sticking more fucking eye drops in my eyes. This time to dilate them. That was A LOT of fun. I think not! "If wasn't blind before I came in here I sure in the hell am now!" I tell the Doc laughing. I couldn't see a damn fucking thing in front of me. What fun! I really wanted to poke him in the eye when he shined that damn light of his into each of my eyes. Fuckin' A! How much more is is going to torture my poor retina's?! I should have read this before I went! He pretty much covered everything.

Turns out that my vision is still 20/20, although I am slightly far sighted, which is why I was holding the paper farther away from me. He said he could give me a prescription for a pair of reading glasses but I wouldn't notice a difference in how I see. If anything it would only help to relieve the strain on my eyes, if I wore them. Bottom line, I'm just not getting enough sleep and it is starting to be a strain on my eyes. HA! Just exactly what I thought! Thanks for confirming it for me Doc. Love ya! See ya, bye. "Do you have sunglasses?" the Doc asks me. "Yep. I never leave home without my Ray-Ban's."

The drive home... oh yeah that was fun. GODDAMN WAS IT EVER FUCKING BRIGHT OUT! Well, not really all that much since it was sometime around 5 by this time. But when your eyes are dilated though, it might as well have been high noon out there. Good lord! And if that wasn't bad, someone had sent me a text message, but I couldn't read the damn thing! I think I text back that I was blind but I'm not sure if it came out that way.

What was really kick ass about this whole dilated shit? Let's see... The computer was out of the question. Reading a book was out of the question. I couldn't even fuck around with my camera's or work on my mid-term. I couldn't do shit! I was left with one option. The TV. Only one problem with that... It was a little hard to read the movie titles I had just got from Netflix, so I played a little movie roulette. Now when I watch DVDs I always turn on the subtitles if the movie has them. Don't ask me why I do this, I just do. I think it has to do with watching a lot of foreign films, so now it's just a habit. Besides, I can't stand a blaring TV so the subtitles come in handy in that regard. Thank gawd the TV is on the opposite end of my room, I was still able to read the subtitles. They were just a little blurry but I could still make out the letters just fine.

All in all, not bad. I wasn't too thrilled about not being able to see for 4 hours, but now I know exactly how my vision will change once I do start needing glasses. But for now? I'm still 20/20 beotch!