This Little Piggy Went To Market.

I just got back from taking my 89 year old Grammy grocery shopping. Being around my Grammy is always quite entertaining, well for me anyway. My mom will tell you differently. To my mom, taking my Grammy to do anything is like visiting hell. Grammy drives my mom crazy. Which is funny as hell since my Grammy says the same thing about her.

So I go and pick up my Grammy. This is a task that takes awhile since she can't walk very good without one of those walkers now. She's waiting on the front porch with her walker. When she first see's me walk up, she says, "Did you change the color of your hair?" "Yeah, Grammy." "I almost didn't recognize you with your hair that color." Nevermind the fact that I had just gotten it cut butch short, she only noticed that I dyed it. "You ready to go, Grammy?" "Yeah." Still standing on the front porch and the front door open, she then starts to complain about the the sandals she has on. They were not the ones she wanted on. So after asking her which ones she wanted, I proceeded into the house and get them for her. Alright! Shoes changed, we are on our way. It takes a few minutes for her to get to the car, then into it.

As we drive down Davis Street towards the freeway on ramp she goes on how she can't stand living in San Leandro any more and takes a stroll down memory lane. Remembering when Davis Street was nothing but a dirt road from Fredrick Rd all the way down to the water (which is where the dumps now presides). How there was no freeway, and when they were getting ready to put the freeway in how they had to replan the whole thing because people were refusing to sell their land. Oh yeah, this is going to be an entertaining excursion with Grammy today.

First stop in the ATM. It's the first of them month, time to hit the bank for some cash. As we are waiting in the drive-thru line for the ATM, my Grammy proceeds to tell me that she wishes that paper was never invented. "Why is that, Grammy?" "If people had to write on rocks like they used to, people would have less to say." Hmmm. Then she goes on to say, "Paper isn't any good, it's used for too many bad things." Well, she does kind of have a point there. I don't question too much of what my Grammy says. I usually just sit back, shut up, smile in amusement and enjoy the ride, as they say.

Then as we pull out of the ATM drive-thru and down the parking lot row (which happened to be a one way, the way in which I was going) here comes a big ass SUV, headed towards me. Of course, being the "no patience for idiot drivers" person that I am, I continue to drive towards the SUV, not giving it room to go around me. Then at the last minute I veer to the right and drive close enough to side swipe him. My window is already down as it's a hot one outside today. I see his window is cracked, and of course obnoxious me yells "Learn how to drive you fucking asshole!" Then I turn to my Grammy, "Sorry, Grammy." Which she proceeds to tell me, "If he would have looked at the sign on the ground, the arrow shows pointing out." So after a little road rage, we are headed off to the grocery store.

Again my Grammy just starts talking about a whole bunch of random things. One in which she starts to talk about my Uncle's wife Jackie, "that bitch". Her words, not mine! Then about how big my mom has gotten. And asking me why I changed my hair color. "Because I wanted to." "Sounds like a good reason as any", she says to me. Gotta love my Grammy!

Finally at the store. I find a spot to park where no one is parked on the right of me. Getting Grammy in and out of the car takes awhile and involves needing the car door wide open. As she begins to get out of the car I got a shopping cart for her. As long as she's got something to hold onto, the walker won't be needed. We only had one incident while we were in the store. Grammy was reaching for one of the single size lemon marainge pie in the bakery section, she knocked one of the other pies on to the floor. "Good going, Grammy. I can't take you anywhere!" I jest with her. Give that woman a shopping cart and she is dangerous. I thought she was going to run over this other old lady that was in the store, she was stopped in the middle of the isle with her back to us. All I saw was my Grammy getting closer and closer with no slowing down. She finally slowed to a stop just before hitting her, and says excuse me. I'm thinking, whoa, that was a close one, laughing to myself.

Finally or trip through Safeway was done and we where on our way back home. I pull onto her street and Grammy proceeds to tell me, again, "I wish paper was never invented." God I love my Grammy to death! :::smiling:::

Now I am off to the cemetery. The Mountain View Cemetery at the end of Piedmont in Oakland is one of the most beautiful cemeteries around here. I've been wanting to go take some pictures for quite a while now. I think today just might be a good day for that.