It's Been A While... (Part II)

Today my Grammy would have been 90 years old. It’s only been almost a few months now since she passed away. I think about her often and miss her. When I went to the cemetery to check and see if she had her headstone yet, seeing it affected me more than I thought it would. Seeing her name engraved into the stone along with dates of her birth and death made me cry. Standing there over her grave I had the weirdest feeling, my whole body was tingling. It felt like she was inside me letting me know that she knew I was there. My Grammy might not be upon this earth anymore, but I can still feel her love and it’s a wonderful feeling. I hope it doesn’t ever go away.

Speaking of emotions, I had quite an interesting drive home from work today. I had popped in my Family Values ’99 Tour CD. I hadn’t listened to it for a while and I wanted to hear one of the songs on it, Aaron Lewis with Fred Durst “Outside”. That song has always reminded me of Natalie, but this time as I was listening to it, I was feeling Mr. Love through every word. As I was listening to it all I could feel was all this sadness and it made me cry. I do still think about him a lot. I know that he and I will never be anything more than just friends ever again. Being with him has changed me more than I ever thought possible. As much pain as I have gone through with him, I’d do it all over again. There was a time when I wished that I had never met him, but I know that he made a difference in my life and had I not met him I wouldn’t have been able to love in a way I never could before. In another place and time I know he and I will meet again.

Wow! Where in the hell did all that come from?!

I know where and I think we will leave that place now.

Okay, moving on…

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The Ozzfest line up was announced a couple of weeks ago. Just as I had hoped, System of a Down is going to be among the line up. I was so excited when I got the newsletter and read all of the bands that were going to be on the main stage. July 1st, the first show of the tour and it was going to be here at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View! I had even e-mailed Wenchy with the date with the all the bands. We were going to go and we were going to take The Boy with us. But something wasn’t computing yet.

July 1st… July 1st… Why was July 1st a significant date for me?? OH SHIT! The wedding! Oh you got to be fucking kidding me! It’s the same day as the fucking wedding! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I had already committed July 1st for the wedding back in October. Why in the hell did the Shoreline date have to be the same day as the wedding? Great! Looks like I will be missing Ozzfest for a third year.

I figured that even if I couldn’t go that I’d still buy a ticket for The Boy for his birthday and he could go with my baby brother. But something else wasn’t computing either. Then it dawned on me. The Boy and Lovie go to their dad’s in New Hampshire for the summer. Well hell! Wenchy and I wouldn’t have been able to take The Boy anyway, let alone my brother, he wouldn’t even be here. I looked up the rest of the Ozzfest dates though and see that they will be on the East coast at the end of July and the beginning of August. I told The Boy to see if his dad could take him to the Connecticut or Massachusetts show. I guess we’ll see come end of the summer if his dad did take him or not. I hope he does get to go.

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I have been taking a lot of pictures whenever I can and have been posting the ones that I think are good to my deviantART account. You can find some of the pictures that I took while visiting the City of the Dead over the weekend. So far I have only gone through the ones that I took at Holy Cross. I’m still going through what pictures I was able to take at Cypress Lawn before my second battery died. I have a total of 12 rolls of film that I have to take in to get developed from my trip to the cemeteries this past weekend and other trips that I have made over the past month. I took my digital camera with me to the City of the Dead only because I wanted to make sure I had some pictures that I could post now and not have to wait for the rolls of film to get processed. I’m not expecting any of those to turn out any good, which is why I wanted to bring along the digital.

I’m also going through all my digital photos that I have taken over the last 3 years or so. Checking to see if any of them are good and posting them in deviantART as well. I didn’t realize that I have taken that many pictures over the years. Holy shit! But anyway, if you are ever bored enough, feel free to take a journey over into the deviantART world. You’ll find some great work from other people there. My three favorites are mehmeturgut, cweeks, and Justaminute. Mehmeturgut is a young man from Turkey that takes some really great photographs. You just have to see his work to see what I mean. And it doesn’t hurt that he is also very good looking! Cweeks is actually a photographer for wire image, paparazzi is another word that I am sure a lot of the famous people he has shot would call him. But he takes great fucking pictures! Definately check out his work! Justaminute goes to her local zoo a lot and photographs the animals there. Take a look at her work and you will see why I love her work!

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I see from my site meter that I have quite a few repeat offenders. One which we will not name, he knows who he is, and he just won’t go away it seems. For all you other repeat offenders, I do have a box over on the right side there where you can add your e-mail address and you can be notified via e-mail when I post to my blog. It would make it a lot easier than having to check everyday (or however often for some) to see if I have posted anything. I’m just making a suggestion. Then again, I can’t see why anyone would want to read my ramblings, but that’s just me.

Well, I guess I’m done rambling. I warned ya didn’t I!?