"If I have to come back, I'm bringing a stun gun and a weed whacker."

Did you miss me while I was gone?!

HA! Yeah, right!

Well, it has been one hell of a couple of months! It seems like forever since I was last here. Okay, so it’s been almost 3 months. It’s not like I have this interesting life that everybody wants to read about anyway. Proof of which will now present its self to you all.

In February a co-worker of mine came up to me and asked me if I’d like to go on a photo shoot with her as a second photographer for March 3rd to help her photograph the Marina California Pony Little League. I told her sure, but warned her that I wasn’t all that great. She said that it was pretty straight forward and simple and that she’d provide the camera for me. “Well, okay then. Count me in.” And I was getting paid for it! Sweet!

Since then I have now gone on a total of four Little League shoots, one of which on this past Saturday she sent me out to East Palo Alto to photograph on my own. I go back to EPA on the 12th of this month for the re-take shoot to photograph the kids that missed last week. I took my brother with me on Saturday to help assist me with all the parents, to make sure they had everything filled out and what not while I was photographing the kids. That didn’t quite work out as well as I’d hoped, but it was nice to just have him there with me so I wasn’t alone. I’ll be going it alone on the re-takes.

So yeah, I’m now a “Professional” photographer! HA! A professional faker maybe. But I’m getting paid to take pictures, so it’s not all that bad. The money I’m making with the sports photography I’m putting away towards the Nikon D80 that I’ve been coveting since it first came out. I’m almost $400 dollars closer to it than I was 3 months ago. Woohoo!

Speaking of money, the beginning of last month was the beginning of a nightmare. I had gone to the ATM to take $20 buck out. It was after putting in the $20 for cash wanted that I was greeted with a “Do you still want to take that money out even though you may be overdrawn?” I’m like, “WHAT THE FUCK? What do you mean I’m overdrawn?!” I KNOW I’ve got money in my account, because I haven’t paid my bills yet. I check my bank account on line and sure enough, I see that there was a $502 ATM withdrawal at the B of A main branch in Oakland. MOTHERFUCKER! And on top of that there was $150 worth of over draft fees from me using my debit card everywhere.

What ensued after that was a call to my bank to file a claim for my ATM/debit card being cloned. Then waiting for them to mail me the affidavit to file as well to verify the claim I placed over the phone. All in all it took me a little over 2 weeks to get that $652 credited back into my account. I had called and talked to the girl who actually processed my claim, and apparently in the past couple of months there have been an on going amount of ATM withdrawals from B of A’s all over the place from cloned cards being cloned onto like old hotel card keys. And there was an Albertson’s over here in San Lorenzo that had one of the credit card terminals used at one of the self checkout stands that was swapped with one tracking everyone’s card and PIN numbers who used it, for a month. For a month! Can you imagine all the card numbers they got in a month?! It makes me scared to use my damn card anywhere, as an ATM purchase anyway. Fuckers!

I have also got my own domain name now for my photography. www.teenamariephotography.com for those of you who may be interested. Don’t get too excited though. I haven’t had a whole lot of time to do anything with it except get my host and get a page up that says coming soon, but it’s a nice coming soon page. I used one of my angel photographs, Grieve Not, and used her for my home page and my business cards. My individual project photo lab class will be over in a few weeks, so hopefully I’ll have some time here soon to work on the site. I’m still not entirely sure of how it’s going to look, but I have a general idea of how I want it to look. Whether I can get it that way or not is another story. I’m a little confused how the CoffeeCup html editor that I got and the ftp and all that shit works, but I’ll figure it all out eventually like I usually do. It just takes me a little bit of playing around with it to figure it all out. If not, y’all will be hearing from me asking for help real soon! So be fore warned!

Uuhmmmm, what else…?

I found a really nice cemetery up in Santa Cruz last month. It’s called Evergreen Cemetery and oh is it ever green! It is absolutely beautiful! I must have spent close to 3 hours there just wandering around. From the front it doesn’t look all that big, but if you walk in through the main arch you can see the walkway continues back and up into the mountain side. It is surrounded by evergreen’s (some redwoods) and a whole lot of vegetation and ground cover (ivy, lily-of-the-valley, calla lilies, ferns, etc.). I even happened upon a banana slug which was freaking cool. Yeah, I’m a dork, I admit it. But I’ve never happened upon a banana slug out in the great outdoors other than when I went to Muir Woods and they had one out to show everyone what kind of critters are natural to Muir Woods. I took a lot of pictures with the digital camera, I just haven’t had any real time to sit and go through them all yet. You can be sure that I’ll post quite a few of them once I do…including the banana slug!

I don’t know if any of you remember me talking about the stray cats that like to hang out in my back yard…one in particular is a female cat that is not fixed, naturally! Well, last year she gave birth to a good sized litter, as did another female stray that hangs out in the neighborhood. Because I have a soft spot for cats and didn’t want the mama cats to go hungry I started feeding them, which of course once the babies all got old enough, they too started eating the cat food. Well, out of all the babies from last year there are 4 of them that still hang out in the back yard. Out of the four, two of them are females. And you know what that means… I’ve now got 3 pregnant cats hanging out in the back yard. Just last night I heard babies crying and went to check it out. One of the babies had her babies in the play house, but I think she is a different one than the three that hang around. From the sounds of it she may have 3 or 4 babies. Times that by 4 and I’m going to be having a lot of freaking babies hanging around. I think it time now that after the babies get weaned that I start trapping them and see if maybe get the babies off to the animal shelter for possible adoption depending on how feral they get, and get the mama’s fixed. It just pisses me off that I feel like I’m the one that HAS to do it. I know that if I don’t know one else in the neighborhood will, which really pisses me off because that first mama cat from last year…I know she has to belong to someone. I’m just real glad I keep my two girls in the house. They’re fixed, but I can just imagine the fights they’d get into with all the other cats. That is a vet bill I am happy to see gone.

Speaking of the back yard, now that it’s spring and all the rain…I’ve got one hell of a jungle growing back there. Since I’ve got a free weekend this coming weekend I think it’s going to be spent with the weed whacker. It’s definitely time for a little bit of spring cleaning of the back yard. I haven’t seen one of the Big Guy’s (one of the male strays) lately. I hope I don’t run across him as I’m whacking down the jungle.

Hope this find you all well.

“There is a reason that all things are as they are.” ~ Bram Stoker Dracula

Toy Stories

it's been a while since i've really taken any pictures.

i've been kind of lazy.

but now it's coming down to the wire and i've got 3-4 prints that i have to have turned in the week of feb. 26th.

and you all know what that means.

i have to get my lazy ass out there and make some shots!

so...

with my toy holga 120 in hand, i've hauled my ass out into the abyss that is called the bay area. i figured i had this holga long enough, it was time to test it out. as my instructor says, "a camera that sits at home takes lousy pictures."

when it comes down to the wire, where does teena go in a pinch?

the cemetery, of course!

where else would i go?

i brought the holga with me when i went to vermont back in november, but only used it a hand full of times, so i still had half a roll left. the picture above is from one of those shots. it is the infamous haunted emily's covered bridge in stowe. it was nice to see it on the contact sheet after i developed the roll.

let me tell you...

loading 120 film onto the spools is a bitch! augh!

it took me what seemed like forever and a day just to get that first roll loaded. and i had two more to go! after finally getting that first roll on though, i was able to figure out how to get the other rolls on faster.

i'm just going to have to take more pictures with 120 so i can get in the practice of loading them onto the spools with no problem. i'm even looking into getting a mamiya 645 super. when i told my instructor i was looking to get he asked me why the 645. i said why not, i had to start somewhere. though after talking with him, he's not got me thinking about possibly going with the rb67 instead. i dunno yet. we'll see.

anyway, if all goes right in the darkroom tonight i might have my 3-4 prints done tonight. if not, i've got a 4-day weekend up in ukiah this weekend to get out there and get some more shots.

i'm off to the lab!

All Saints Shanty Town

I had heard from some kids that there was a cemetery that was kind of hidden off somewhere over behind Hayward High. The only cemetery that I know of anywhere behind Hayward High is Mt. St. Joseph Cemetery, aka All Saints Cemetery off of Second St. on Walpert. I had asked the kids at the time if All Saints was the cemetery they were talking about, but at the time of the conversation, I got the impression that we were talking about two different cemeteries. So yesterday I dragged my ass out of bed, grabbed my camera gear and headed into Hayward on a mission to find this mystery cemetery.

After driving up and down East Ave and Second St., stopping here and there to take a closer look at the surrounding areas around the school, I finally came to the conclusion that it had to be All Saints. Which was a little disappointing, I was hoping to find another cemetery that was off the beaten path and not on any maps. No such luck.

The first time I had gone to All Saints Cemetery, last year on one of my other cemetery excursions, it had seemed to me that All Saints was a cemetery that was always kept locked. Driving by the cemetery from off of Second St. this time, instead of from off of Mission, I was able to notice that there are actually two sets of gates to the cemetery, and found the one set open that I didn't see the first time. I was excited to finally be able to drive in and look around.

(Yea, cemeteries excite me. If you have been paying any attention to this blog, at all, this should not come as a surprise to you. I did however find that there is a word for someone like me. It's called a taphophile. Ha! Look that one up! I myself have just learned over the weekend what that word meant.)

My excitement dissolved as soon as I stepped out of my car and started walking around. Something just didn't feel right about this cemetery. I normally don't get an uneasy feeling while I'm in cemeteries, which is why I don't mind going on my excursions alone. I actually prefer going alone, but this time I didn't feel like being in this cemetery alone. I wasn't going to let that stop me though. I wanted to take a look around, to walk around the perimeter, which I normally don't feel the need to do, but something about this cemetery made me want to do that.

All Saints' drive way is in a U shape, ending at the other gate that is kept locked. The cemetery itself slopes down towards the bottom of the U, it was here that I stopped and parked. (I didn't even grab any of my cameras as I got out of my car. This was definitely not going to be one of those trips this time.) From there the cemetery has another slope that slopes down to a nice size pathway like along the fence. It was down this way that I headed first, where I noticed a slit in the fence big enough for people to come and go with ease though it. I walked to the opening and noticed a little way ahead a baby stroller with a plastic bag attached to it. At this point I'm thinking to myself, "Why in the hell would there be a baby stroller out here, and who in the hell in their right mind would be back here with a baby in the first place?!"

I leaned in a little further forward through the opening in the fence, looking down the path to the right. It was then that I noticed a big red family sized tent that was pitched up. Everything that I saw outside around it led me to conclude that it was definitely being lived in. I didn't see anyone outside it, but I sure in the hell wasn't about to go looking to see if anyone was there. I did wish I had at least brought my digital camera with me though so I could have take pictures. I wanted to look around a little bit more down where I was though, then head back up to my car for the digital. Walking towards the other side of the cemetery along the fence (facing Second St) I noticed two more slits in the fence and more signs of homlessness. On the other side of the fence were two more make shift shanties. I didn't get close enough to see if anyone was in them, hell the fuck no. I did head back up to my car for the digital though. I had to at least take pictures of this.


While I was headed back up to the car I heard another car come into the cemetery. Some man with what looked like 3 kids in the car. They headed up towards the other gate, turned around then drove back out. I think the father spotted the make shift tents along the fence and figured it might not be a good place to have a little family outing. I, however, went to my trunk and got the digital, setting off my car alarm as I did so. It was then that I did see someone come walking over to the fence from where the big red tent was, looking to see who was in the cemetery. This guy ended up keeping an eye on me the whole time I was there. I kept an eye out myself, keeping an eye on him. It was actually quite unnerving knowing I was being watched the whole time I was there. Needless to say, I wasn't able to get back over to where he was to take a picture if the stroller or the tent.

One of the things I quickly noticed about the cemetery was the desecration visible everywhere you looked. Why anyone would go into a cemetery and vandalize it is beyond me. There were a lot of headstones that were knocked over and broken. In one of the trees I saw what looked to be part of a fender or door from a car. Now why in the hell would anyone put a fender/door up in a tree, let alone in a cemetery? I just don't get it.

Fuck was spray painted in blue on one of the trees, along with other verbiage. The same person with the blue spray paint, also spray painted 666 with an upside down cross on the back of one of the tombstones. Over on what was left of another headstone, someone had written all kind of crap with what looked like a blue and black Sharpie.

Seeing all of this just broke my heart.

I would like to go back with my toy 120 Holga camera and get some shots. With the light leaks, I think that cemetery would be perfect for it. I'm not so sure I'd want to go by myself though, which is a first for me. I doubt that any of those people that live on the outside edge of the cemetery would hurt me, but I definitely don't want to take that chance either. I felt uneasy in that cemetery for a reason. This is one time I'm definitely going with my instincts. Better to be safe than sorry.



After I was done at All Saints I headed over to Lone Tree. I'm still not happy with these hands. One of these days I will get a shot that I really like.

It's that time again...

Yes, it is that time again. You know, the one where I post more of the pictures that I have taken and where YOU tell me how awesome I am.

Today I'm going to mix a couple of digital pictures in with the ones that I have scanned from darkroom prints.

This picture was taken a couple of weeks ago up at Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland. One of my favorite cemeteries to photograph. As I was hiking all my gear on over to the other side of the cemetery I spotted a couple that kinda stood out from the rest of the folks enjoying the day. It was the chick I really noticed. I mean, how could you not. She was walking around dresses up goth like and holding a black parasol. I walked past them and made a comment that i could have used her up at the mausoleums. I continued walking up towards Millionaire Row but as I was looking off to my right I spotted this big ole oak tree and had an idea. I turned around to see which direction the couple and wandered off towards. They hust so happened to be wandering my way, so I asked the chick if I could borrow her and take a few pictures. Of course none of them came out worth the shit, except for this one that I took in sepia. It was noisy as fuck but with the sepia toning it was just right for what I wanted to try and do with it. This is what I ended up with. (I also made a mental note to myself to find me a black parasol. Her parasol rocked!)

Her male friend also handed me a business card so I could e-mail copies of the pictures to him. I didn't actually read it until I got home. This is what it said:

BONE LASHES
Custom Made Bone Handled Floggers, Jewelry, Whips...
Bas Ass Shit That Will Make You Cry

I went to the website address on the card and found the reason behind the name. Apparently these unique items are made with real animal bones. Interesting. I was hoping to see some pictures of some of his stuff on-line but there were none. I guess you have to contact him if you are in the market for what he is offering. Check it out for yourself --> Bone Lashes

This next picture is also digital but not altered in any way. What you see is exactly what I saw in my display window. I showed this picture to a friend of mine in Vermont the weekend that I took it. I was asking him what would be a good name for the picture. He suggested Stairway To Heaven. I almost used the name, but I thought that was too obvious and wanted to sleep on it and see if another name would come to me later. Sure enough the next day as I was looking at it again Embraced came to me. Interpretation left to the viewer.

This next picture is one of my favorites spots at the cemetery. I call this little section of the cemetery Mausoleum Row and is what I have named this picture. This is a scan from a darkroom print.

These next two prints are also lab scans taken last weekend. This one was taken down at the San Leandro Marina as the sun was getting ready to set. It's also where the runway for the Oakland Airport is for all the planes arriving. I caught one of the planes as it was landing. I had a yellow filter on the lens to contrast the clouds more.

This next one was taken up at Lone Tree Cemetery in Hayward. A freind of mine took a trip to the cemetery to find a friend that we just found out had died a couple of years ago. After finding her nitch we walked around a little. I noticed this sundial off a little ways and thought it would make a good picture. Ironic since it symbolizes time.

Unexplainable Connection

Someone once asked me, "Why cemeteries? Do you feel something when you are standing there inside them and walking around?"

If you are wondering what this person meant by ‘feel’, it’s to mean something I guess what a psychic would feel. Like a premonition, or a presence of someone, or something. Hokie, I know. But that is the best way I can describe what he meant.

I do ‘feel’ things. Not in the, "You ever feel the prickly things on the back of your neck?" from the Sixth Sense kind of way. I do have a sixth sense feeling though. However, I don’t get any feelings when I am in cemeteries. (I’ve only felt anything once, and that was when I went to visit my grandma’s grave site to see if her headstone was up yet.)

I only feel content and at peace when I am visiting the cemeteries. I’m not rushed, just taking my time wandering around. Taking pictures here, taking pictures there. Sometimes I’m so absorbed in just the photograph aspect that I don’t even pay attention to the inscriptions on the headstone. But I always end up going back to the same cemetery more than once or twice because of that fact. Then find other shots because I’ve taken the time to read them and see them in a different way.

It’s an unexplainable connection. No matter where I am or where I am going. I will always spot a cemetery and I get excited and mentioned it if I happen to be in the same car with someone. But whether I am by myself or not, when I see them, I make a mental note of it and plan a trip centered on visiting that cemetery I just found.

If I really had to put a finger on it, I guess it’s the history that drawls me to them. This in itself is funny really, considering I’m not a big history buff unless it has to do with my own ancestors. Go figure. But you can really learn a lot by just studying the dates and noting who is buried with whom, and who is buried in what section. Every town you go to, anyone who has had any impact on founding and/or developing the town into the cities as we know them today, a good majority of them are buried there. That is if they weren’t taken and buried back in their home towns, such as Sarah Winchester was.

The biggest attraction though? Simple really. I find them to be very beautiful. When I happen upon the smaller cemeteries that had been neglected and/or vandalized over the years, it just pains me. The vandalism pains me more so than anything. I just can’t believe that anyone could be so callous to deface and/or destroy a grave site. The neglected ones I can understand, a little. I know that eventually a lot of the smaller towns, mainly in the mountains, were booming one day, then all of a sudden became a ghost of what they once were. I think it is those small town ‘pioneer’ ghost towns I am so attracted to for that reason alone. Well, that and the whole American Old West, Wild West, and the California Gold Rush periods fascinate me.

Cemeteries hold a whisper of the past, of days long gone. So when I come across a cemetery that is nothing but a fence and maybe a wooden sign, which may or may not tell you the name of the cemetery, or perhaps maybe even a memorial of some sort displaying a little bit of history of the cemetery and its residents, it pains me to see a place where the past was been wiped away, like it never existed. I came across such a cemetery this past weekend.

I just learned that there was a cemetery up in the mountain side of Milpitas, so on Sunday I decided to take a drive up Calaveras Road. I lived in Milpitas a long time ago when I was a kid still in grammar school, but there is still a lot that I remember about that town. It has changed a lot over the years, but I can tell you that I don’t remember a cemetery being up there just past the park on Calaveras Road. Once I got there I knew why I never retained the memory of it being there as I had drove past it before as a child.

I didn’t notice is until I was driving right past it. I saw the huge sign over the locked gates, Laguna Cemetery. I flipped a bitch a little further up, came back down and flipped another bitch and parked. As I walked down to the gates all I could see past the gates were very tall weeds and some trees. To the left of the gates stood a granite memorial, giving you a little bit of history of this pioneer cemetery and who is buried there. There is even a copy of a map of all 44 plots. Past the fence I couldn’t see any headstone or any remaining stone framing where each of the plots once had been.

Over the years the cemetery had been heavily vandalized, what little remained had been removed to preserve the headstones and the history. There was something in me though that wouldn’t accept what my eyes were seeing. There had to be something left… Some ghost of a remainder… The next thing I knew, I was crawling under the fence and heading in.

I figured I’d walk the inside perimeter close to the fence. When I ventured about half way in I decided to cut across. So far all I could see and hear where the wild turkey’s roaming the area and the horses up top on the other side at the ranch. Past an oak tree, some over growth, and the over grown weeds I saw it. The one remaining skeleton of gave site #13 (after looking at the map outside), the Millers. The only two remaining headstones are those of Mary and Jacob Miller. Jacob’s you can barely make out, while Mary’s is still very legible.

There are rumors that the cemetery is haunted. Surrounding residents and park Rangers have been noted as hearing moaning, crying and other unearthly sounds. All I heard was noise from the nearby park and all I felt was content. As soon as I stepped foot into that cemetery I felt a calmness.

I felt at home.

Rockin' Ghetto Style, Wedding Bells, Cemeteries, and The Slut!

The last couple of weeks has been a little hectic and stressful. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any more fucked up, Murphy's Law came and fucked me from behind. It wouldn't have been so bad had there been a little lubrication to ease the pain.

Okay, so maybe it's not as bad as all that. I have a way of fucking things up all on my own without any help from good ole Murphy. However, one of my problems was actually out of my control. The other is the usual money problems. I spend way more than I get. You’d think I’d learn by now!

On the 14th of last month my car decided to take a shit on me, AGAIN! I drove into work with no problem. I even took off for lunch with no problem getting back to work. Although I did have this funny feeling about my car as I was pulling back into the parking lot at work. Sure enough as I got in my car to leave for the evening, the bitch just wouldn't turn over. Great! Just what I fucking needed again. What sucked was that it now meant that I was not going to be able to make it to the bachelorette party that Saturday. Bastard! What sucked even more was hearing about the great time everyone had at Asia SF with the stripper and everything else. Yeah, everyone but me!

Best of all, my car is still sitting in my driveway becoming one of the biggest, dirtiest paper weights ever. Yeah, I still haven't gotten it looked at to see what in the hell the malfunction is this time. My uncle still has not taken the time to come by and see what the fuck its problem is. I think I'm going to have to give him a little ringy dingy and get his ass over here. For now I am driving my kid brothers other car that is a bigger piece of shit than mine. Like I should talk! At least it runs, unlike mine at the moment. Let me give you a little visual on his piece of shit though.

I can't remember what year the fucking thing is, but it's a Chrysler Sebring convertible, '97 I think. A convertible, not bad, you say. Wrong! It's a convertible that has no back window as that got shattered not too long after my brother got it. He was putting the top down one day and it just shattered. So yeah, that looks pretty ghetto. Now you'd think that with this nice Summer California weather we've been having that would not be such a big deal since it's a convertible and should be driven with the top down this time of the year anyway. Yeah, and you'd be right... If all the windows actually would roll down. I tried putting the top down last week but the rear window behind the driver’s seat will not go down, at all. Again, that looks pretty fucking ghetto, so I put the top back up. Next in line we have the stereo, which is actually a bomb ass stereo system. It's got great bass and all that. However, if you turn the fucking stereo up too much and get all that bass going the fucking doors rattle like hell. Apparently my brother really didn't give a rat’s ass about how well he took care of the car cause now the door panels on the inside are no longer completely attached to the doors anymore. You have to be careful when opening up either door as the panels stick to part of the door molding, which you have to be careful not to try and open the doors with any force as they will fling back shut, ripping the door handle out of your finger tips (which hurt by the way when you have nails!). Nice! So now I'm rolling in a convertible that rocks ghetto style as the doors reverberate with every beat of the bass. I've always wanted to know how it felt to be ghetto fabulous. Now I know! Be careful what you wish for girls, cause chances are it will come true.

Uhm, what else? Oh yeah. I fucked someone that I shouldn’t be fucking. At all. I didn’t plan it, that’s for sure. It just kind of happened. I called up one of the exes, you might remember him as the Cling-On, just checking up on him to see if things have gotten any better for him. He sounded a lot better; he was out of the house and partying. Then I got a text message at 3 in the morning by him asking, “what’s up?” Uh, sleeping! The next thing I know he’s asking me if I want to come over and have some ‘fun’. You’ve got to be kidding me!? I guess he is feeling much, much better. So we are texting back and forth for about an hour. Mainly him trying to get me to come over and fuck him, which I didn’t end up doing. I text him the next day asking him what the hell that was all about and he says that he was fucked up. Great! “So you text me at 3 o’clock in the morning to fuck with me and see what I’d say?” I text him. Of course he’s all no, no, no, it wasn’t like that at all. He tried getting me to come over again, but I resisted. The next day rolled around and the more I thought about it the more I just said to myself, what the fuck. Why not? It’d been awhile since I had a good fuck, let alone a decent fuck. I figured since he was an ex at least I’d know what to expect. That was the one thing I didn’t have any complaints about in our relationship. The sex was always pretty damn good. So what do I do? I took him up on his offer and drove myself on up to his house. What I should have done was just stay the fuck home and leave well enough alone. But NO! My horny self over rode any rational thought process I had and just pushed the sensible me right the fuck out the door and locked it.

So I get there and we just watched the TV for awhile. All the while in my head I’m thinking this is probably not going to take that long to get him off since it had been over a year since he probably had any sex. With all the medication that he was on they left nothing for the sex drive. However, I was soon to be shown otherwise. Not only was he fucking rock hard but lasted a good hour. I guess that was one good side effect from all the drugs he was taking. Although I ended up being left out in the cold. I couldn’t get off to save my fucking life, so that fucking sucked. Oh well. Lesson learned? Hell no! But that comes a little later.

Now the week was upon me to get ready for the wedding that I went to just this past weekend. Now I hate shopping for clothes, let alone a fucking dress! I finally ended up finding one on-line just in time. What was even more awesome was that the fucker actually fit and looked half way decent. Then what with everything with my car and not trusting my brother’s car I was now in need of a rental car to get my ass to Murphys for the weekend where the wedding was being held, at Ironstone Winery. I had already reserved a room for the entire weekend. This was more money I was going to have to spend. I was originally going to drive up with Mr. Love, but he called the week before telling me that he now planned on driving up either the night before or the day of the wedding and driving back the same night after. Well fuck! Time for a new plan for me. I guess he didn’t trust being in the same hotel room with me the whole weekend. Not like anything was going to happen anyway. Well, okay, so maybe I was hoping that there would be some kind of action. But I knew that the chances of that happening were like me winning the lottery. Nada gonna happen in this lifetime! Anyway, I lucked out and got a Chevy Equinox for only $78 for the weekend.

It turned out to be a great weekend despite all my fantasy illusions. I left Friday morning and got up there around 2 in the afternoon. After I arrived everyone else started trickling in. The majority of them all had to go to the rehearsal dinner so there weren’t many of us hanging about the hotel. I took off to go find something to eat and brought it back to the hotel. I started looking in the book that the hotel puts inside all the rooms listing what the hotel rules are, things to do around town, and what-not. There was a map in there of the town and saw a road that said Cemetery Road. As soon as I saw that I was down in the lobby with my new camera in hand asking if in fact there was a cemetery on Cemetery Road. Leave it to me to find the cemetery where ever I go! The girl behind the desk confirmed there was and I was off! I ended up spending about an hour there taking a shit load of pictures. I then ended up down the road where it drops you off at Main Street. Found a cute little bed and breakfast nestled in some trees and took some pictures of that too. Then I took some pictures of Main Street from where I was. By that time it was getting pretty late and not getting enough sun so I headed back to the hotel.

Not too long after returning to the hotel the bridal party came back and it was party time! The guys all took off into one room to play poker and party the night away. The girls all got together in another room to do a little bit of partying of their own. Most of us ended up just popping squat in front of the hotel and partying out there. A good majority of the girls were all smokers and the hotel rooms were all non-smoking rooms. It just made more since to just kick it outside and party it out there. After the hot day the cool evening felt much better than the air conditioner. I was really surprised that we didn’t end up having any complaints about all the noise we were making. You get some of those girls pickled with alcohol and whoa boy will they get loud. One in particular was the groom’s sister who was also one of the bridesmaid’s. By 1 in the morning she was pretty wasted. I knew that she was going to be hurting the next morning, since they all had to be at the hair dressers at 9 to get all done up for the wedding. She was hurting the next day! LOL

The wedding was a blast. The bride was absolutely stunning and the groom was as handsome as ever. She pulled up in a horse drawn carriage that was just so picture perfect. I managed to miss getting a picture, of course! And the setting was just as picture perfect, it was held at Ironstone Vineyards outside set against the natural beauty of the Sierra Foothills, where the Lakeside Park, enchanting flowers, wood-covered bridges and sprawling grapevines provided colorful backdrop. Okay, that little bit I actually stole from their website. I think they described it a lot better than I could have. The whole wedding party looked just as beautiful and handsome as the bride and groom.


As it was also the 4th of July weekend, the vineyard also had a 4th of July celebration with a live band playing and a fireworks display planned for later in the evening. We all stuck around for the fireworks display then we all headed back to our hotels. Mr. Love left the wedding earlier in the evening since he was so intent on driving back home that day. Always the party pooper that one is. I was surprised he stayed as long as he did. He showed up, that was good enough.

After we all get back to the hotel it was later learned that one of the bride’s co-worker’s that showed up for the wedding got pulled over for a DUI. She ended up calling the bride and groom and they were actually going to pick her ass up from the sheriff’s department at 4 in the morning. I’m sorry, but at 35 you should know better than to be drinking and driving. I would have left her ass in the drunk tank! Okay, not really. Being the nice person that I am I would have done the same as them. However, someone else offered to go get her for them so they wouldn’t have to. They did end up taking her to get her car out of impound though at like 8 in the morning. From what I hear this chick was hysterical the whole time, from when she got picked up by the cop until she got her car out of impound. Well, I hope she learned her lesson. She was told by numerous people at the wedding, including from the bride, not to drive. But she did anyway.

I took my time driving home the next day. On my way out from the hotel I asked the girl again behind the desk where in Angel’s Camp the cemeteries were. Oh com’mon now! If you have been paying any attention at all through out this damn blog, I LOVE cemeteries! Since I don’t know when I will ever be up that way again I wanted to hit as many cemeteries that I could on the way out. Turns out there are 3 cemeteries in Altaville, located just on the northwest portion of Angel’s Camp. I found the Altaville Protestant Cemetery, Catholic Cemetery, and Lode Cemetery. At least that is the names I have found them to be here on the web. The Protestant Cemetery was the only one of the three that actually had a sign, the others just had a sign posted warning about vandalism. I walked around all three, just shooting away with my camera. What I love about cemeteries are seeing all the different style headstones that are used. I found quite a few that I have never seen before until now. Now I have the task of actually sitting down and taking the time to go through all the photos and editing the best out of the lot.

So this was all on Sunday. After getting back home I was trying to just relax, but after being gone all weekend and from the long drive back, I was feeling pretty restless and bored. I still had a few hours yet until I had to return the Equinox, which I really did not want to part with. (I think I found my new car!) I ended up texting you know who. I actually text him asking him if he wanted to go and see a movie later in the evening, but he text back that he was broke. So what do I go and do? I text him asking him if he wanted to fuck then. Yeah, I have no couth sometimes. I pretty much say what is on my mind, straight and to the point. I think I was pretty straight and to the point on that one. I really didn’t think he’d bite, I figured last weeks little rumble tumble was it. I guess I figured wrong. He came over and we watched Donnie Darko, all the while he had his hand down his pants stroking his cock. I have to say that, yes in deed, that was turning me on. There’s just something about a man stroking his cock that I love. I wanted to take my time with him though. I managed to make it through the entire movie before asking him if he wanted a helping hand. Although I did tell him that it looked like he was doing a pretty good job there on his own. But being in the slut mode that I seemed to be in, I just couldn’t resist feeling his hard cock in my hand and in my mouth. I was going to make myself wait to feel him deep inside some where else. And let me tell you, I was pretty much throbbing for it already at this point. What a Slut!

This time around I actually got off. And oh my gawd was it a long time coming! In the moment if felt fucking great, but it was missing something. It felt empty, emotionless. Well, what did I expect? It was only just a fuck anyway, right? Yep, and that’s just what it was alright. Just a fuck. I’m finding that I’m not that person. I can’t do just fucks, I need something more there. I need the emotions, I need the feelings. Mr. Love changed me in more ways than I ever thought. Not that I used to just fuck people before I got together with him. I’ve always had some kind of emotions or feelings for the person I was having sex with, you know, at least some kind of attraction. Other than just feeling totally horny, I didn’t feel a damn thing. I can tell he wasn't feeling anything but the sensations of fucking, he was completely gone somewhere else inside his head. So maybe it’s just best if he and I don’t hook up again. We don’t need to be starting anything neither one of us have any intentions of finishing. Lord knows I’m not looking for that from him. Hell, all I wanted was a fuck. Well I guess I got fucked alright, by me. I keep telling myself that that was it, no more. Yet I can’t keep the slut at bay, she is still rearing her ugly head. She wants more, what she got the other night was not enough. I keep telling myself that that was it, no more. But the slut keeps telling me, “Who the fuck are you fooling?!” I mean, shit, it’s only sex right? Right…? Fuck!