"I'm going to steal your girlfriend."

In Ukiah again this weekend. Yesterday was Wenchy's Christmas party for her work. Since she has driven down in the pouring rain one year to go with me to mine one year, it was the least I could do to drive on up for hers. I'm not really one for Christmas parties, going to my own was pretty much pushing the limits. For Wenchy, I'd be her date for the night. Heffy also works at the same place so at least there would be one other person there that I knew. Heffy was going solo since her boyfriend's job is repo-ing cars he didn't go, he would have gotten his ass kicked. He had repo-ed quite a few cars out their parking lot at work. It was the joke of the night that I was Wenchy and Heffy's date for the night.

Since the 3 years that I've been coming up her visiting Wenchy, I've notice quite a few things up here. Ukiah is a small town where almost everybody knows everybody. There are not a whole helluva lot of things for the teenagers to do in this town, or the 20 something’s for that matter, except to get drunk and do drugs. This town is full of tweekers. Meth is the number one drug problem up here, next to alcohol abuse. I've also noticed that there are a lot of lesbians up here. After seeing the type of guys that are available around here, I can see why. So seeing as the presence of lesbians in this town is a common sight, now that I look the part, me being seen with Wenchy and Heffy probably raised a few eyebrows and a few questions. Especially since no one at work really quite knows Wenchy yet since she has only been there a few months now.

We three stuck to our own table in the back corner for the entire night. I think we were the only table that didn't have other people sitting at it. We pretty much looked like the outcasts of the party. The ones that nobody wanted to sit with, which was just fine with us. We were able to sit back and talk shit the whole night without being over heard.

It was around 9 o'clock that we decided to ditch the party. Heffy called her boyfriend to come pick her up. The plan was we were all going to go somewhere else and continue to drink. This is where I was going to have a little bit more fun and fuck with some people. First up, Heffy's boyfriend.

I've known Heffy's boyfriend, we'll call him Michael, for a little over 3 years now. He's a friend of Wenchy's brother, both which hang out over at Wenchy's house all the time. Michael is what I'd call quite the sheltered little rich boy. When he found out that I was bisexual he asked me a lot of questions. Hell, he's asked me a lot of questions about a lot of different things pertaining to sex just in general. I've opened this boy's eyes wide open quite a few times. I've also come to find that he is a bit homophobic. Even finding the thought of two girls doing anything to each other to be sick. I tell ya, he is not your normal guy. Any red hot blooded boy in his early 20's would give their first born to get the chance to watch two girls going at it.

So as we are walking out to the front I told Heffy, "I'm going to fuck with Michael. Just go with what ever I say. Okay?" She said alright. Michael had another guy in the tow truck with him (always good to have someone get your back when you have to repo some psycho's truck), so I walked over to Michael's window. As he rolled down the window I said, "I'm going to steal your girlfriend from you." He asked me why and I said, "Because she is fucking hot!" Heffy and Wenchy were over on the other side of the truck talking, I'm not sure what was all said, but the next thing I hear is Michael saying, "It's all fine that you two do your...(here he is sticking in tongue out making the sound of eating pussy), but leave my girlfriend out of it." Then he hunched is shoulders, shaking his head going ewe as the thought is grossing him out. It was quite funny.

Here I must inform you that his comment was meant for Wenchy and I. Wenchy was fucking with her brother and Michael one night when they were being childish and kept saying that Wenchy and I were really lovers. So just to shut them up she said, "Yeah, you're right. We are." So to this day I think that Michael really thinks that we are. I'm not so sure about her brother, but it is a standing joke that still continues to this day.

I think we ended up freaking Michael out too much that he didn't want to go out with us and drink. Heffy ended up taking off with him and Wenchy and I just ended up going over to her dads for a little bit. While we were over at her dads Heffy texted her. Wenchy looks over at me with an amused look on her face and said, "What did you tell Michael?" I said, "Why?" She said Heffy just text her wanting to know what I said to Michael. I told her just to text Heffy back saying why. Heffy texts back, "Because she is not allowed to hang out with us." Then texts back, "Seriously." We laughed our asses off. I told Wenchy that all I said was that I was going to steal her away from him. She texts this back to Heffy. Then I told Wenchy, "Text Michael and tell him Teena wants to know if Heffy can come out and play." He texts her back that "You don't have to ask me." I guess that meant that we were to just ask Heffy knowing what Heffy had text us. I just shook my head and laughed.

Not too long after that Wenchy and I decided to leave her dads. Her brother was outside smoking a butt. We were telling him what we just did to Michael. He doesn't like Heffy and made a comment that was something like, "Why would want to take her. Take her. Take her far away from here!" I told him it was just a joke that I just wanted to fuck with Michael. Her brother couldn't believe that he was acting the way he was too, he said he's normally not like that. I said, "Not unless he really thinks I would steal her away from him." "Yeah, that could be," they both said. I just laughed, "He (Michael) really needs to lighten up. He needs to realize a joke when he hears one."

So now I think I've got Michael seriously thinking that I want to have sex with his girlfriend. I think my work is done here! Gawd I just love small minded people. They are so easy to fuck with.