Troubles, Grammy, Smoking, and Zenn.

Well, this year is sure ending like it began. CRAPPY!!! I sure the hell hope 2006 has better things in store for me! I’m not going to hold my breath on that one though. 2004 was a year that ended pretty badly, which continued on into 2005. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, eh?! Yeah, whatever! I always thought that line was a bunch of bullshit. However, it does ring a bit of truth in it. I just can’t seem to be that guy, while falling 20 stories, who say’s “So good, so far!” I’m 75% pessimist and 25% optimist. I try to be the reverse of those percentages, but life sure has a way of knocking you down a rung or two.

So let’s see. In the time since I was stuck in Ukiah:

I had to shell out just about $500, that I don’t have, to fix my car. Which wouldn’t be so bad, if my car was actually running better! All but for the part about my car not starting, my car ran better before I got it fixed. Okay, so it wasn’t running very good at all before the break down, but it did run better. I swear! Or maybe I’m just a little more paranoid about my car since the break down and can now hear every little noise my car is making. I’ll just turn the music up so I can’t hear it. A method I am sure a lot of us live by!

My Grammy has since fallen 2 more times. It finally got to the point that we had to call the paramedics on Friday to take her to the hospital. Let me tell you, my Grammy has too many little gossipers on her street. We had a family friend, Vickie, come by asking about my grandma. Why? Because it seems that the one old bag that lives across the street, that just loves to start gossip, apparently told her that she had seen my grandma being taken away by the paramedics and that they had to use a defibrillator on her. Then she heard form another neighbor, the stupid Mexicans across the street, that she was taken away with the sheet over her face and that the cat was locked in the house with no food and no one to take care of it. My grandma doesn’t even own a cat anymore! So Vickie came by to check with us and see how she was really doing.

My Grammy is doing fine, she just can’t support her own body with her legs anymore. She’s going to be 90 in March. She has lived longer than anyone in her family. She is the last of the Brown/Waring bloodline. I think a lot of is has to do with her attitude towards life these days. She is forever telling me and my mother that she is going crazy, and she tells me that she doesn’t want to live anymore. She’s having a rough time of it, specially this past year. This past year has been hard on the whole family. My uncle has since been arrested and is now serving 6 years. And my Grammy is PISSED at him for it. Not to mention that she is just hurting inside because her baby boy is in prison. For what? Well, that is the one thing I will not talk about here. I don’t want to start a debate on here for what he is away for. He is serving his dues. End of story.

So the not smoking thing kind of flew out the window and I haven’t gone to work out since, hell, I can’t even remember when the last time was. I know it was a couple of weeks ago though. I figured I’d just wait until the New Year. You know, try and start 2006 smoke free and getting in shape. We’ll see how that goes though. Just when I think I’ve got everything under control I lose it again. Enough is enough already! DAMN! I really need to get my life back in control!

I did meet a very interesting young man Thursday night at Porky’s though. Interesting is not even close in describing this young man. First he calls himself Zenn, looks to be about 19 years old. He proceeded to tell me that he bought one of his parent’s hashish for X-mas. He just moved into a new apartment where the manager is pretty cool because she doesn’t mind that he and his roommate grow weed hydroponically, or some such. Which I made the comment of being careful about that (not to mention who you tell you dumb fuck!), in which he responded to me that it was all good because it is legal now. ?? Wow, when did miss this news flash!? He seems to think that just because he has a “club” card it’s legal for him to grow. Which I think there is a little tiny bit of truth to it, but it has to be like fewer than 5 plants or such. I could be wrong though. Whatever the case, I’d still be careful and think of it as illegal. I know I wouldn’t be telling a perfect stranger who I just met that kind of stuff, that’s for sure! Oh, and when he said bye to me he said “Hugs and kittens.” I shit you not! That just totally threw me off. This boy completely reminds me of some lost 70’s hippy teenager. I mean you just don't run into kids like this one anymore. He is a really good looking guy. Tall, skinny white boy with long dark hair, dark eyes and facial hair. Yeah, now you can see why he caught my eye, huh! I’m a sucker for them type of guys. I don’t know if he has any tattoos [but I would like to find out… No not that way, you pervert! He caught my eye because I’d really like to photograph him. Naked preferably. Again, you are being perverted!]. I do know that he has got a tongue bar though. He was playing with it enough while he was talking to me. Like he was trying to impress me with the fact that he could do many pleasurable things to me with it. “Here, kitty, kitty. Kitty need a licking?” Okay, now I am the one being perverted. Hey, cut me come slack. It’s been awhile! Beside, he is WAY too young for me anyway. I just want to photograph him. No, really. [Evil grin] Damn, why can’t I keep these wings white?!

And on that note, I am off to the hospital to visit my Grammy.