Doris Warring Crawford © 1940's
This is my favorite picture of my Grammy. I think she is so beautiful and I love the way the women looked in this era. My mom used to keep this picture in her wallet when I was a kid. When I first saw this picture, I remember asking my mom, "Who is this?" "That's grandma", she answered me. Meaning no disrespect, and asking a perfectly honest and innocent question, as kids do, "What happened to her?" I think my mom explained to me that she had just grown older.
See, my Grammy has always looked like this to me.
For as long as I can remember, she has always looked like the picture above, old. But now that I am older, I don't see it as being old, just a woman that has lived life as it was handed to her.
My Grammy was born Doris Warring, with no middle name, to William Wallace Warring and Valentina Maria Brown Warring, on March 29, 1916. She was the next to youngest of 4 girls. The oldest was Evelyn, born November 1906, then Marjorie in April 1908. The youngest, Laura was born November 1919. Marjorie died in December of 1922 at the age of 14, then Laura in October of 1923 at the age of 3 (just a month shy of her 4th birthday). Evelyn, or Auntie as I knew her, died April of 1990 at the age of 83. Auntie married, though they never had any children.
When my Grammy was 19, she had my Uncle, Hugh Anthony Brodie in January of 1936. I've always heard that she never married his father, however my Grammy swears to this day that she did. Our family has spun so many tales, I don't know what is true and what isn't. I've had to investigate many of our family tales to find out if they were true or not. Those tales are for another time though.
In June of 1945 she married my grandfather, Floyd Sanford Crawford, at the age of 29. By this time my Uncle Hugh was about 9 yrs. old. It wasn't until 6 years later, April 1951 when my Uncle Sandy was born. He was born Floyd Sanford Crawford, Jr. To keep from both her husband and her son answering at the same time when she yelled Floyd, he was then given the nickname Sandy. Then April of 1954 my mom was born, Laura Lee. By this time my Uncle Hugh was 18. Then May of 1956 my other uncle was born, John Clayton. Hugh was 20 and in the Army by this time, then got married in 1957.
So my Grammy had a total of 4 children by the time she was 40. She also had a couple of step-children from my grandfather's first wife, 2 sons James (Jim) and William (Bill). They were both right around my Uncle Hugh's age. Asking my mom about her two half-brothers, if they were her father's only children with his previous wife (Evelyn) she says yes, although she says that Grammy swears that he has an illegitimate daughter out there some where. I don't know if it's true or not though. Grandpa's sons came to live with them for a time, although I'm not certain for how long or if my Uncle John was born by then. All I know is, that is a lot of kids to have to take care of!
On April 15th, 1961 my grandfather died. She was now 45 and left with 3 kids to raise on her own. And from all of the stories that I've heard from my mom (of course the stories she told me was how her brothers tormented her), they were a hand full. Especially the boys, no longer having a father to keep them in line. With Uncle Sandy being the oldest, he became the 'man of the house' as he got older. My Grammy never re-married.
So now she's got 3 kids, playing the 'single' mom role. Trying to raise these kids the best that she can. Fast forward 8 years, and now she's got me to raise too. By this time Sandy's 17, in his senior year of high school. Mom's all of 14, in her freshman year of high school. Then John, 12 and in the 7th grade I think, or there about.
1969 marks the year that my Uncle Sandy enlisted in the Army. He is sent to Vietnam right after boot camp. He made it back alive. Though I'm thinking just barely. If my memory serves me right, he ended up being a gunner on the choppers that went in and picked up the boys that were still alive and wounded out of enemy territory. I've got all of the letters that he wrote to my Grammy while he was in boot camp and Vietnam. He went into the Army still a young boy in so many ways, but as the months went by, I saw the changes in him just from his letters. He didn't talk about what he saw there, I'm sure he wanted to spare my Grammy the horrible things he saw, along with not wanting to have to re-live them moments again. Drugs were a lot of those young men's escape from the reality of the war going on all around them. My uncle was one of them. He ended up discharged out of the Army sometime around the end of 1972 I'm guessing. By February of 1973 his body was found. He had drowned at the San Leandro Marina after him and a couple of buddies who were out in a boat tipped over. They say the under currents swept him under and he drowned. I think that he gave up and maybe wanted to die. I'm not sure if he was still doing heroin while he was here or not, but I don't pass any judgments on him if he was. I wouldn't blame him if he did. He saw more than any man should have seen, along with all the other young men who served their time in Vietnam.
The death of my uncle devastated my Grammy. I don't think she took life quite the way that she used to. But there was still me, mom, and John. My mom had already graduated high school the year before, John was in his Junior year. John was the new man of the house.
And life went on as it always does. My Grammy is still here, alive, stubborn, and ornery as ever. She turned 89 this year. Now she is finally, really looking old to me. She is the last of the Warring/Brown family. It's hard seeing her now, her health is starting to decline, and senility is gradually increasing. My Grammy. She has been my mother, my Grammy, and my best friend. I will be truly devastated when it is her time to leave us. But I just can't think about that right now. I'll deal with that when the time comes.
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