Lust In Bloom

It has been awhile since my last entry. I still have pictures from my trip up to Ukiah to post, but I seem to have gotten a bit distracted today. I woke up this morning with another one of my fucking famous headaches, thus preventing me from making it into work today. I was hoping to be able to make it in by noon (only because I have no idea if I have any sick time left to use) but that never happened. Since I wasn’t going to be going anywhere but tucked in my bed, I figured I’d watch the rest of Kingdom of Heaven since I fell asleep about a half hour into it last night.

Now com’mon. Are you really surprised to see me posting a picture here of Orlando Bloom? He fits my ideal of what I like in a man. Okay, so he fits the ideal of what I like visually in a man. That he just happens to be sexy as hell, well… Just look at those eyes! I could totally get lost in those eyes. Like I’ve said before, there is just something about dark looks in a man that I just absolutely gravitate to. Dark hair, dark eyes, facial hair (especially Orlando’s here in these pictures... OMG!). I must have some type of magnetic pull to 1976 as well. My ex was born in ’76 as was Drew, Ville Valo, and as I looked up today, Orlando too.

Watching Orlando in Kingdom of Heaven woke up a part of me that misses Mr. Love. Yes, Mr. Love was my dark God. The only man that I’ve ever been with that had dark, long brown hair, dark eyes and the facial hair. He made me melt just looking at him.

Seeing Orlando also woke up another part of me too, if you know what I mean. And I’m sure you do. I can’t help it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man in an intimate way. It only reminded me just how lonely I’ve been since Mr. Love and I parted ways. I still miss him, very much. I also know that part of my life is history and that it’s time to move on. I’m trying. But in the same token, I’m not in a hurry to replace what I had with Mr. Love. I know that I can never replace it. I’m just not looking for anything either. I know I need this time alone with myself again, as much as I hate it.

So for now, I think I will just overdose in Orlando today. Ned Kelly came in the mail today from Netflix. After I watch that I think I will pop in Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ll get a double dose of Dark God looks. Johnny Depp. Yeah, that is another one that I just can’t get enough of!

I think my headache is finally starting to go away. I’m feeling something else beginning to ache though…